is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
