My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
