did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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