I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
