ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
