I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
