Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
