Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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