oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
