Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
