that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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