he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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