he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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