# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
