I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So much rum. So many feels.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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