My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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