Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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