Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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