So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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