My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
