Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
