butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sorry about my life...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
