Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
