I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
