Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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