How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So many bounce houses so little time
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Randomize
