I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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