So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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