I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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