haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you never un-have a 4some
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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