I heard we made out
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize