i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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