people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize