OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
