What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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