I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
