Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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