so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Michael Bay diarrhea
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
