I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize