I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
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