You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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