What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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