is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
