dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
They have beer where we have blood.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
