Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
