i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
