My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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