thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just had sex bonerless
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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