I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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