so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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