out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
