I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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