so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
