My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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