They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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