I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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