you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
