Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
