Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My pussy is not your playground.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
