He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
