i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
As shirtless as possible
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
